Décembre 1999
After learning big bad info on my family, I went into denial, then my body somatized and then I went into depression. My boyfriend dumped me in December. I was already researching my illness because my meds were not working very good and I changed my doctor and my meds.
I lost 50lbs and became the thin me I was when I was 20 years-old, the awckward me I was. It took me months to recover me with my meds, years to recover from the breakup.
I felt abandoned, even worse, stabbed to death, betrayed. We were together for three years and a half, he told me he loved me everyday and wanted to marry me which was the reason I hanged in there. He was leaving me when I needed him most.
I was dependent of him, I couldn’t live alone, I was afraid of what would happen if I was alone and depressed. I was sad all the time, tired, and ate mostly soups and crackers at dinner time. The rest of the day I was too depressed to eat, I felt like water was crushing me and I couldn’t swim anymore, I had survived all these years and now, I was drowning…
Archivé sous: La période Lithium, La période Topamax | Tagué : Changement de médicaments, Déni, Dépression, Famille, Maniaco-dépression, Psychiatre, Rupture amoureuse, Somatisation, Trouble bipolaire
